Podder

Born with one leg longer than the other
Face like a Bauerian troll
A runner for a dad and a drunk for a mother
Pity the poor wee soul

The midwife must have been tempted to smother
wee Podder

Didn't learn much at the old sink school
Came over as a little bit slow
Sat at the back on a dunce's stool
Waiting for the bell to go
Could have been different if they'd tried to get to know
young Podder

Came and went with the old latchkey
Weaned on the Bon Accord
Dungarees with holes in the knees
Hard to believe it, but take my word
The smartest guy that I ever did know
was Podder

Never complained, didn't ask for much
Always first shout for a round
Played near the edge but stayed out of trouble
Always kept his ear to the ground
Saved his pennies and worked damned hard
did Podder

Dabbled a bit on the penny stocks
Bailed out just before the crash
Bought himself a flat by the whisky bond
Had a little flutter with the extra cash
Rolled up eight in a row he did,
our Podder

The bulldozers levelled the old sink school
Put up a shiny new block
All financed from a generous gift
It must have been a bit of a shock
When the donor cheque turned out to be
from Podder