Quiz Night

“It’s quiz night tonight at the Feathers” says Joe

“The lads are all meeting at eight

Why don’t you come down, you might win a packet?

It’ll be a good laugh, if you think you can hack it

A catch-up would simply be great

I hope you can make it old mate”

“No thanks” I reply, in a heartbeat

“I’d do anything rather than that

Chewing the cud with a bunch of old losers

Couped up In some squalid, sleezy old boozer

I’d rather be boiled in hot fat

Than be anywhere you guys are at”

“I’m sure you’d enjoy it old buddy” says Joe

“We all know you’ve been under some strain”

“Au contraire”, I reply, “the idea sounds terrible

 I’d much prefer something a little more cerebral

So let me just make it quite plain

I have no wish to see you again”

“If you do change your mind, let me know” replies Joe

“You’ll mellow, when you’ve had a few”

“The very idea just fills me with dread

I’d rather my tongue was pulled over my head

There’s just nothing I’d rather not do

Than go pubbing with any of you”

“Might see you at eight then”, says Joe, with a smile

“I’ll reserve your old seat near the bar

It’ll be like old times, all the lads back together

We’ll sink a few jars, and we’ll have a good blether

We’ll put a smile back on your puss

What on earth would you do without us?”